I don't really feel at home here

Every time we have the large social functions at $EMPLOYER - as today with an all-staff donut-eating Fasching celebration - I'm struck by how relatively outside and malplaced I feel here. Within $WORKGROUP, it's fine enough - I like the people and feel at home. With occasional co-workers outside $WORKGROUP, it's good enough too - there are not few with whom I feel good enough to chat. But with the all-staff functions, all I see is a huge loud room where everyone is chatting along with someone, and I get a very distinct feeling that for me to sit down somewhere and chat with someone would be intrusive. And all my fixpoints are normally already involved in chats of their own, thus no longer good stepping points to involve myself.

And so I eat a little of $FREEFOOD and watch the place a little and then return to my office instead.

I know I wouldn't be acting like this at Stockholm University - both with the Classics and with the Mathematics departments I was comfortable enough to actually, y'know, sit down and enjoy myself. Perhaps it's a defence mechanism? I'm mentally focused on not staying here for long, so maybe I'm taking care not to have too fixed bands to break once I do want to "bail ship"?